


The Only Education Worth Having

by advaba (indigo_blue)



Category: History Boys - All Media Types, History Boys - Bennett
Genre: Education, Family Drama, Gen, Internal Monologue, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, One Shot, Questioning, Written for a Class
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-23
Updated: 2013-11-23
Packaged: 2018-01-02 10:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1055699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indigo_blue/pseuds/advaba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some things we didn't see on stage. Posner: ''It was my uncle who hit me" This is a look at the aftermath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Only Education Worth Having

**Author's Note:**

> (repost because I was being fussy with usernames)

The Only Education Worth Having

David Posner sits at the dining room table, walled in by books on the Weimar Republic, the battle of Alamein and the rise of Marxism. His pen flies across the page, filling it with handwriting almost identical to that which it will be marked in, differentiated only by the bold, red, teachers' ink. He couldn't believe the change when he'd got his last essay back from Irwin. Whoever heard of loving someone enough to take on their handwriting? Yet he can see it has happened twice in his class alone.

His mother comes in to the dining room now, bringing with her a mug of tea for revision fuel. She smiles at him proudly when she sees the pages he's written, and he takes the tea from her. He looks away and is left feeling slightly guilty.

It's calm at home now. Forced calm. Each member of the Posner family is a little embarrassed over how last night played out. He can see the stress still on his mother's face as she sits down with a book.

He'd been talking about what he'd studied in school recently. Some unsavoury details stood out for his parents. Singing hymns. Frank discussion of possible exam questions about the Holocaust, 'like other historical facts'. His father broke a glass when Posner, son, said that. His uncle had hit him. Later, his mother cried. Posner wishes he hadn't mentioned what happened to Irwin when asked. He doesn't need to be pitied.

He stops himself, shakes his head to clear away thought. He needs to keep writing. To put his mind back to his essay; Hitler's invasion of Poland. Two thousand tanks and one thousand planes, coming from Slovakia, Prussia and Upper Silesia. Focus on the numbers, the facts; not on all this worrying.

There's another conversation with Irwin he needs to forget. That's the real reason for hiding in books. _“Sir, I think I may be homosexual.”_ Recently he's been worrying about it more than he should. Irwin tells him it will pass. Some of the literature agrees – he's been reading leaflets he took from the school nurse's office when nobody was looking. Although, he tinks dryly, it's not as though it would come as a surprise.

He wishes he could know either way. The writing and Irwin both are full of weasel words; 'if these feelings are more frequent or long lasting then it _may be_ more significant,' and the like. He's not sure which he wants to be true, if it will pass or won't. Either way, he needs Cambridge – which is why he needs this essay, needs to stop thinking and just _write –_ so that he might get in and Dakin might love him, or he might get in, meet somebody new and stop caring.

His mother puts her book down now, kisses him as she walks past and leaves for bed. Posner looks at his watch, surprised. He's been writing into the night.

He pushes away the half-filled cup of tea, now stone cold. He picks up a textbook and skims through the pages. Don't worry, keep writing.

Upstairs, unseen by anyone except him, _the literature_ in all its frustratingly smug wording covers the duvet, torn pieces fallen like snow.


End file.
